Do you ever get the feeling you're taking one step forward and three steps back? Right now it feels like I'm in free fall with roller derby but that's not to say it hasn't been educational. I finally had my first training session on Friday night after I had injured my right ankle a few weeks ago. Once again I had managed to psych myself out on the way to training but at least this time I put all my derby gear on but while everyone else was getting up and warming up on the track I felt as though my back side had been superglued to the steps I was sitting on from fear that I would fall down during training and get injured again. I eventually got up and started skating then a few minutes later out of nowhere I managed to stack it on my arse. I know I have a huge arse but it doesn't mean it didn't hurt when I landed on it. I eventually got up and made my way to the sideline but it hurt to sit down. It finally got to me and I thought I was going to start crying in frustration. I hobbled to the toilets because I didn't want to start bawling my eyes out in front of everyone but I was too gutted to cry so I punched the wall instead :) That helped so I made my way back. At this stage I'm starting to think I must be the leading contender for Guinness world record for most injuries sustained at roller derby training.
Cherry has a knack of making me agro when I'm injured :) I almost kicked her when I did my ankle and then last Friday she kept nudging my feet with her's when I was on the sidelines with my busted arse. To be fair I keep telling her I want to one day be able to knock her down at scrimmage training so I suppose all is fair in love and war :) I've got no idea why I do stupid things like this, I must be a sucker for punishment :)
The next day the strangest thing happened, I dragged my sore arse to Skatel to try skating again and would you believe it I skated 100% better than I did the previous night and I didn't injure myself. For some reason my brain is having a freakout at training but not when I go to a general skating session. Leo and Mon were also there skating. They were great to skate with, I got lots of advice and tips as we were skating and of course they're fun to hang around with.
I've already had someone question whether I should stick with derby due to all the injuries I've already picked up. I gave it a thought and decided no. To be honest I'm a little surprised I haven't already quit it's what I usually do. Despite the frustrations and obstacles in my way I still really want to do roller derby. I want to be part of a team and help them out and dish out punishment to those that try and hurt my team mates. So I say screw you to my own mind for letting fear get the better of me and screw you to court we train on on Friday night's. I'm sick of both of them getting the better of me. I'm sick of writing about getting injured and I'm sure it doesn't make for interesting reading. So how do I fix this? I'm thinking about tackling the things I struggle with the most (and which scare me the most) and just practise doing them as much as I can throughout the week (I still can't get up using my toe stop, I can only do it if I have my skate flat on the floor ohhh the shame that I still can't get the basics right). I just have this feeling that I'm going to be a lot of work for Cherry (sorry Cherry) but I'm hoping that I'll be worth the hassle.
Derby just isn't about being on skates so I've been looking at what I can do off skates to help improve me on skates. I've decided to go on a health kick and lose weight because I've quickly realised it doesn't matter how fat you are it still hurts when you fall down at training. Cherry is also looking at losing some weight so she offered to be my online training buddy. Hopefully we can help each other out. I'm sure if I fall off the wagon she'll kick my arse back onto it :) In other news it looks like my Coke addiction may just be over. The headaches and mood swings are gone and I've been drinking a lot more water lately. That's not to say I'm not craving it from time to time but my need to lose weight is stronger than my want to drink Coke right now.
Lastly, to my followers on here thanks for reading my blog :) I've got no idea who Mendulica or bignoiz are or which of the two Mel's is reading this blog but it's nice to know that some people find my ramblings interesting :)