I have a dream, a daft dream but it's still a dream of mine. Given my love of Liverpool and roller derby what better way to combine the two than if H.A.R.D flew over to Liverpool to bout against the Liverpool roller birds? That would be my ultimate roller derby dream. Maybe if I start working on the board members now it might happen by the time I eventually pass my orange star test :P
Back to reality we've had a few of the Privates pass their Corporal aka white star test. I'm absolutely made up for them, they've done themselves and the league proud. I wish them all the best as they learn new and more advanced skills. Well done guys :D
I know roller derby is going to hurt, if not from pushing yourself then the hits and stacks will surely do the job. The last few weeks my ankle has been hurting while I've been skating even with my ankle guards on. I was also getting a pain in my heel, whenever I tried stretching my foot or if I was skating for a while it felt like the muscle/tendon/whatever was tearing in the back of my heel. Last Friday when we were re-doing the endurace part of Corporal test I didn't even last the full 5 minutes because of the pain in my ankle. Last Sunday through my own stuborness I went to Skatel but I didn't even last 30 minutes nor work up a sweat because of the pain. The decision got made for me right then, I couldn't continue skating while I had this ankle/heel problem. I honestly thought I'd be able to work through the pain and that it would heal itself during the week when I wasn't skating. I didn't want to come across as a piker and that I couldn't handle the demands of roller derby but I ended up waving the white flag and went to the doctors. I've got a referral to get an MRI scan done this Saturday morning on the troublesome area to see if they pick anything up.
The last couple of days I admit I haven't been the easiest person to be around. It all kind of exploded on Sunday night. First up it was making the decision not to skate until my ankle was fixed up, then it was finding out that I've only passed snowploughs so far on my Corporal test, I've flunked everything else then it was followed up with having to sit on the sidelines and not being able to join in while the new Corporals got to train with the big guys. I knew ages ago that I was never going to pass my test on the first attempt but it still sucks arse when you're left behind like the slow kid in class even though you're genuinely happy for the guys that did pass. As for these bloody injuries it's starting to feel like ground hog day. I start making some progress but then it stops because I pick up another bloody injury. This sport is going to frustrate the living hell out of me but by the same token the personal achievements are going to feel pretty amazing too (I hope!). I figure that for every derby related setback I come back from, it's another little victory for me because I haven't cut my losses and quit. I know I let the disappointments hit me hard but the way I see it is the fact that it gets under my skin the way it does shows I still have the fight for it and I want to make it. Eventually the physical hits I'll cop on the track won't hurt because I know I can get back back and continue on. I find it tough sitting on the sidelines watching my team mates train because I want to be out there with them so I've decided as a way of distracting me I'm going to take derby rules with me to training and go through that.
To finish on a positive note, Friday night wasn't a complete disaster I tried showing Liz how to do t-stops and snowploughs, she got the hang of it pretty well. Also I've worked my way up to doing half a crossover (if you can call it that. I can't fully cross my right leg over yet but I can bring it up slightly further than my left foot which for me is major progress considering up until then I was too scared to even try that.