These past seven weeks that I've been off skates injured (especially the last few weeks) have taken me places physically and mentally that I least expected that I'm not even sure where to start so apologies if this post is all over the shop.
The dreaded MRI scan. I was hoping for the best and expecting the worst. While the scan was being done, my mind drifted to picturing lining up for the 'kazi's to take on the Dames (it always seems to come back to them) as if will power could somehow alter the results of the scan.
I had to wait until the next day to see my GP for the results because they got sent direct to him. It's hard to read my doctor because he'll often pull a concerned facial expression from time to time so you don't know whether to freak out or not. He finally spilled it out that the report found no tears (hooray so no surgery!) BUT they found that I've got early arthritis in two different spots in my knee. My heart dropped, isn't it predominately something older people get? According to him everyone gets it but it got me earlier due to all the wear and tear from the sports I've played over the years. The other issue was tracking issues. A normal knee cap moves up down, mine also moves left to right that the knee cap has started to grind away the bone behind it.
I thought that was all there was to it but when I went to the physio last week she pointed out something in the MRI result that my doc failed to tell me. The physio was surprised that the MRI still picked up bone bruising five weeks after I first injured it. I was thinking 'how the hell can you bruise a bone?' but my physio explained it to me. Given the amount of bone bruising that showed it was a miracle that I hadn't fractured the bone, I'd done the equivalent of denting the bone. Given all that info it's no wonder why my recovery has been so slow. Hindsight eh? Ohh and crossovers actually make my knee worse because my knee is in such a stretched and flex position when I put my foot down and put weight on it it's doing more damage.
So now that I know the full story is it time to hang up my skates? Like hell it is. It's manageable but I have to follow these instructions that both the physio and doctor gave me:
1. Strap my knee when I exercise
2. Do the stretches to loosen my hamstrings and strengthen the surrounding knee muscles
3. Start taking Krill oil/glucosamine tablets
4. I got given the TALK to lose weight to take some pressure off my knees.
Funnily enough when I got my results and had it all explained to me it felt like a weight got lifted off my shoulders and my knee stopped hurting that I was sort of thinking that the physio would give me a clearance to return back to skating last week but she said she wants me to work on strengthening it and doing more non-skating exercise to see how it pulls up before she gives me a clearance. I wasn't going to argue with her because the last thing I want to do is un-do all the recovery I've put into the last seven weeks. At least when I finally get back on skates I'll be physically and mentally ready.
I've had lots of help and well wishes these past seven weeks but there was one person whose help was absolutely invaluable and that was Jilla. Yeah, yeah while you all roll your eyes and say FANGIRL it actually had nothing to do with that. She told me a while back that she wanted to come and watch me in my first bout. When I told her I had to pull out of the family and friend's bout because of my knee injury she suggested getting an MRI done and it just spiralled on from there. She's had her own share of knee problems so being able to talk to someone who actually knows how you feel and all the crap you have to deal with made all the difference to me. It made me realise that there's always an option and quitting something I really love isn't one of those. It didn't matter how many questions I bombarded her with she answered all of them and it played a huge part of snapping out of my brain fart when I almost quit a few weeks ago. To top it all off the last NRDL bout I went to I asked her if she'd mind signing me a new postcard since the other one had my old derby name on it. She was cool enough to hold onto the card until she could think of what message to write. OK she might love rugby union but she's an awesome person on and off the track :P Some people like having motivation quotes or pics, here's mine to remind myself never to quit :)
Ok I might not be on skates just yet but there's so much good news happening in derby that it's hard not to feel inspired. Sharni and Betty both passed their Sergeant's exams last week. I was so happy for them especially Betty who kept picking herself up and pushed on for so long that she finally got rewarded for all her hard work. Bailee moved up to contact level and got her 25 in 5 with S2D2 after trying for so long. Cass is bossing it at NRDL and is within fingertip level of being bout ready, and Mon has settled in with NRDL and being pushed and learning heaps up there. It inspires me to work harder. I'd love to bout with or against my friend's one day on the track.Way too much awesomeness to even think of pulling the plug on derby!