What happens in Newy...ends up in this blog.

The first half of this post will probably go down as the shortest non RDAU bout write up I'll ever do but I couldn't not mention the Newy bout :) It was the first time in over a year that I was watching a Newy bout and not doing a write up for the RDAU site. I brought along one of my sister's to her first Newy bout and she had an absolute ball. In the bout program there was a survey to fill out about NRDL and their bouts. I couldn't help it on some of the answers instead of just ticking yes or no I added my own 2c especially on bout suggestions. It won't take long whoever is reading it to work out which one was mine hehe.

With no writing resposibilities it didn't take long to get into rabid fan mode :) I was on my best behaviour so it was nowhere near as bad as what I'm like watching Liverpool play (the last time I went overseas to watch them play at Anfield I almost fell over the concrete barrier and onto the field celebrating when we scored hehe) All the personnel changes messed with my head, Danger as a Hellcat was the hardest one to get my head around. On the plus side GodJilla and Brigand Strong were both Smashleys :D

Although the teams have gone through some massive changes it was almost the same old. Close at the beginning, then the Hellcats took a commanding lead so that the Smashleys were forced to play catch up. One change I noticed was with the Smashleys Hippy High Rola. Most bouts I've seen her play she tends to favour going along the outside line when she tries to get lead jammer but at this bout she mixed it up and went along the inside line and managed to still get lead jammer. No idea if it was intentional or not.

The bout was an absolute roller coaster I was either pulling my hair, biting my nails or just cheering on the Smashleys. At one stage Joe Brown (one of Newy's biggest fans) and I were cheering on the Smashleys in tandem, it was lots of fun! I loved Quirky's never say die attitude as she'd launch herself often getting airborne at a Hellcats jammer as the last line of defence. Jilla surprised me a little. In the last few Smashley bouts I watched most of Jilla's blocking was backwards blocking which we all know she's boss at. In this bout she went back to the more traditional blocking during the night. In the end it didn't matter in which direction she blocked she still kicked arse. One of the funniest things was seeing some Hellcats blockers try and push Jilla out of the way or carve her. The only impact they made was causing Jilla to smile at their attempts before she sent them flying hehe.

Brigand Strong = BOSS! She put in another amazing performance which highlighted why she's one of my favourite skaters. In the final jam for the first half  she scored a 15-0 jam which brought the Smashleys back into the game to leave them just trailing 46-40. There aren't enough superlatives to describe how she played that night. She jammed so effortlessly and could withstand any hits the Hellcats sent her way. When it came to blocking she was marshalling her troops to where they needed to be, she laid off some cracking hits but when she wasn't putting on a massive hit she was positional blocking to perfection. Her efforts were rightly awarded with the Smashleys MVP of the bout.

I admit I was probably paying more attention to the Smashleys but there were some Hellcats players that stood out. Rum n Rola played a blinder and she's improving with each bout. Ohhh Dangerass, another amazing all rounder up in Newy and now a Hellcat. She didn't jam as much as usual but she punished the Smashleys with her blocking. She pretty much played the pivot role even when she didn't have the pivot stripe on her helmet. She stuck to the Smashleys jammers like glue that the only way to get around her would have been committing a major and getting yourself sent to the box but considering how awesome she was playing in stopping the jammers she probably would have positional blocked them all the way to the penalty box to stop them getting ahead of her. I was simultaneously yelling 'Far out Danger' while applauding her. She was unplayable that night even though it was to the detrimental to the Smashleys but I still applauded her.   

I've got to mention Cass. She had her serious face on jam timing and did her job really well. I don't envy her especially the end to the bout. With the bout literally going down to the wire the Smashleys only needed a few more seconds to win it but time ran out and Cass had to blow the whistle and she did which allowed the Hellcats to win it by three points. I'd hate to be in that position but she handled it cool as a cucumber.

One of my goals for the night was to meet Brigand Strong one of my favourite skaters. It was a switch flicked inside me because as soon as the bout finished I went from the intensity of the bout to starstruck, shy fan mode. My sister had enough of me putting off going up to Brig and ended up introducing the both of us to Brig. To make matters worse she spoke to Brig more than I did. Bloody shyness. It wasn't as bad as meeting Jilla for the first time but it wasn't a great performance from me either. It wasn't all bad though I ended up getting a pic with Brig :)

The tendon in my ankle is getting better but I wasn't confident enough to train on it last week. I'll be back at training this week all strapped up and ready to go. I went along to training to see what my team mates were working on and to jam time for scrimmage. I'm loving Jeremy's enthusiasm for merby and wanting to train. It's contageous. I can't wait to cheers him on when he bouts. Some of my fellow C1's past and got promoted to C2 so they're allowed to scrimmage. A massive congrats to Lara, Dee and Te'res :D After seeing Lara get unfortunately annihalated by Jac and then Apple in quick succession I'm somewhat shitting bricks for when I eventually move up to C2 one of these decades.

There's quite a few bouts coming up to look forward to. First up the SRDL finals this weekend. The Unicorns vs BSK bout should be interesting. On paper the Unicorns have the better team but they haven't managed to beat BSK who I think play better as a team. It's surprising that Torture doesn't jam anymore since she made the switch from BSK to Unicorns because she's a beast of a jammer along with her destructive blocking.

I'll be committing blasphamy on the 8th September when the Hellcats bout WSR's travel team the Boutlaws by cheering on the Hellcats. I know some people from WSR but the Hellcats are an NRDL team so that wins out plus there's some awesome players in the Hellcats with some of them ex-Smashleys.

The following week my HARDies bout against the Blue Mountains guys which will be awesome sauce. If our guys play like they did in their last two bouts I reckon we're in with a good chance. I'm looking forward to the workout I'll get on the sidelines jumping up and down cheering them on :)

The 27th October will be a massive night. HARD is hosting its first ever home out. We're bouting against S2D2 another fellow new kid on the derby block. There's also going to be a merby bout to start the night which will be lots of fun. I've dubbed it the 'Team Media' bout because I'm part of Roller Derby AU and the guys from S2D2 (Noms, Big Kahuna, and Ann O'War) are all Viva La Derby so that's added some bragging rights to the bout hehe. On the same night Newcastle are bouting against Auckland up in Newy so it's finally happened HARD and NRDL clashing on the same night. I joked on Facebook it was like picking your favourite child but the truth is there was never any decision to make. It was always going to be HARD and always will be because they're my league, doesn't mean I'm not slightly bummed out to be missing on the Dames bout.

That was fun, can we do it again?

So it was back on skates last Friday after a month off and can you guess what happened? Yep I psyched myself out before I even put on my skates. I can do it so well that I'm on the verge of throwing up and my legs go to jelly. It's a talent I wish I didn't have and it's a puzzling one because all the years I played soccer and the grand finals I played in I was never like this, I was just so eager to go out there and play. Jacqui was a calming influence and the hug from Jeremy was the cherry on top. Simon suggested I spend the weekend training with the freshies while I got back into the groove and I completely agreed with him. It was the right decision especially since the guys were practising for the bout the next night. I started to get back into my groove the more I skated, and I identified the skills I was a little rusty or weak on. It was good in that I got to meet and skate with some team mates that I hadn't met yet.

Complete this sentence - it's all fun and games ........ I was going through the drills that Simon was giving us when I felt a tweak in the tendon that runs up my right ankle, yep one of the problem areas from last year. Suddenly I couldn't support myself when I did the hydrant moves on my right leg. Well that was just crap. I was only feeling it when I did that so I was able to finish off training without any further problems. It didn't go so well on Sunday when the pain kicked in just as I started skating and got worse. Doing the sensible thing I stopped instead of going on and being forced to lose a month off from injury.

It was down to the 'gong on Saturday for the WIRD double header and wow what a night it was for so many reasons. I was so proud of our guys against BSK. Yeah the score deficit was higher than against SAS but our guys played so much better and scored more points. They played to their own game plan instead of just worrying about how BSK were going to play. I've got absolutely no idea how I'm supposed to keep the Roller Derby AU bout write up as unbiased as possible haha.

From the last few WIRD bouts I've gone to it's clear to see they've stepped up a gear. They're still a hard hitting side but they've added more to their overall game and are playing really well now. It was the first time I watched the Melbourne Death Stars bout and they did prettty well in what was only their sixth bout as a team. They've got a pretty good core of players there and will no doubt improve. They've even got a player called Lisbeth Slander in their ranks haha, pretty similar to my derby name. I guess it's a popular choice.

Lastly from that night there was a skater from the Death Stars that I was hoping to meet after the bout. Her name is Bonnie Crash. Just as I started derby I read her feature article in a issue of HAM and it blew me away. Barring having a child, I could have easily written that article about myself, my experiences and the impact derby has had on me. It was such an inspiring piece and gave me hope that anything was possible. Of course I was too shy to say anything so it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago when I worked up the courage to send her a message on Facebook. I got to meet her after the bout and she came across as a nice person and an inspiring one at that.

Off the track I've been eating better and engaging in more physical activity and strengthening work. I don't want derby to be my only physical exercise and I figure if I'm doing other sports or activities it'll probably help strengthen my body for derby too. I'm planning on going back to doing boxing classes and once my knees are in a better condition I'll probably switch over to kick boxing. I've got some fun races lined up for the end of this year and the beginning of next year that I want to do - think mud run, warrior dash etc. Eventually I want to go back to playing football aka soccer (Suzie if you're reading this, I can't extinguish this flame no matter how hard I try!). I figure this mixture of strength and cardio work will help me out on the derby track down the line.

The withdrawl symptoms can finally subside because there's a Newy bout on this Saturday and I can make it haha. My sister who recently got married is coming up with me to watch her first Newy bout and we're making a weekend of it so it'll be good to catch up on all the old haunts we used to go to when we were kids. Also I'm pretty stocked because both Jilla and Brig will be on the same team and they're both Smashleys woohoo! Plus I get to cheer like crazy and be a fan only. The only thing I'm worried about is meeting Brig for the first time because given my track record when I met Cherry and Jilla this one will also be a nerve wracking, blushing, stuttering disaster hehe. I guess that's a part of me that never grew up - feeling like a kid when you meet your fav musician, sport stars etc for the first time. Wish me luck that I don't fuck this up ;)  

Finding the match to light the spark

This past month is the longest I've gone without derby training and for ONCE it wasn't injury related! I've had two weddings to go to, playing tour guide for my relo's from Germany plus I managed to pick up a cold in between. I don't regret any of it (except for getting sick) and would do it all again it just made for a manic month which ended up messing me up for a while that I've had to make changes both in and outside of derby.

For year's I've overfilled my life whether it be working two jobs and going to TAFE at night or not having a single night free during the week that whenever I've stopped to have a break even just for a few days I've gotten sick because my body is used to going 100% all the time. No surprise it happened again this time when I took a week off work to show my relo's the sight's of Sydney. I can't do this anymore, it's not healthy so I've had to re-organise my life to have some spare time but still feel like I've been productive.

One of my major decisions was to go on an indefinate hiatus from doing bout write up's for Roller Derby AU. I've already spoken to Ivy who is in charge and she's cool with it. Truth is they take up a shit load of my time during the week when I work on them and it was starting to get to the stage where I missed the experience of being able to just watch a bout and go ape shit cheering on from the sidelines instead of making sure I got down as much info as I could for the write up. I would like to finish up on covering the WIRD double header this Saturday because it would allow me to do my first write up on my fellow HARDies bouting as a team but then it would mean that the next bout I go to as a fan would be the Smashleys vs Hellcats bout next week so that ties it up nicely! At the very least I'd like to be able to cheer on both HARD and NRDL (if they're participating) at the ERRD finals in October. I will go back to doing write up's I just don't know when at this stage.

The longer this last month went on the more I found myself going down a slippery slope of negativity. Sure some of it was down to sickness, and the longer my routine went out the window and I could feel the weight coming back on, the more lost at sea I felt. There were times where I'd look at that monster Jilla pic and think godammit I'm never going to get to bouting level because I was missing out on training then I got the news last week that pretty much extinguished whatever spark I had left when my grandmother said that the doctor's told her they found a spot on her lung during her latest x-ray exam. My family is the most important thing to me which is highlighted by the tattoo on my left arm so when I heard the news the panic set in for me. My grandmother has had cancer twice in her life and pretty much has her own pharmacy in her room from all the pills she consumes. So now comes the nervous wait to see what the tests will show up. By last Friday I was struggling to get my head above a sea of negativity and derby felt like a million miles away BUT then...

I ended up going to the CCRG bout last Saturday night and something just changed inside me. I saw some of my team mates for the first time in weeks and even though I was doing reporting duties and taking down a shit load of notes I had an absolute ball. The merby bout killed me I was in absolute stitches and the Astro Naughties vs Voodoo Dollies was an absolute nail biter and tense. Don't get me wrong I laughed a lot when my relo's were here but it was something different at the bout on Saturday night, it was like I found the match to light the spark back up that was missing this past month.

It's back to training again this Friday and I know I'll suck arse because I haven't skated for a while and my fitness levels went backwards fast but dammit I'm really looking forward to it :)      

Derby hangover

Supermegaderbyweekendexpialidocious was just over a week ago and I ended up suffering bit of a derby hangover but what a weekend it was! Lots of screaming, fun to be had and lessons learnt. It didn't get off to the best start as it took me two hours to get home from work on Friday night after the truck overturned on the main road I use so I just got to training on time. Whether it was being stuck in traffic for two hours or it was something else something felt off as I walked into the training venue. I just wasn't feeling it which was annoying because Womb Raider was taking us through some really good drills. No matter what I did I was absolutely rubbish and as the night went on the worse I got. It did suck that after making some regular progress the last few weeks that I was now hitting a wall. It came down to how I handled this setback. Up until now I'd get the shit's for days whenever I had a setback and be extremely critical of myself. This time around I decided to write off this disasterous session and start again on Sunday which is a pretty big change for me.

Saturday morning and it was up to Gateshead for NRDL's fresh meat info day. I wasn't joining NRDL instead I was going up there to give Cass a little birthday present and for a social skate. I love Cass, she's such an amazing person, Newy are lucky to have her in their ranks. After seeing her reaction to the little Newy and HARD lego skaters I made for myself I decided to make her a set of Dames skaters and her reaction when she them cracked me up once again :)

I saw a few familiar faces and I met Tootsie Turbo, she knew who I was before I even opened my mouth which surprised me because I'm not sure how she knows me. I got to have a skate and although I was just skating it felt a lot better than my attempt the previous night at training. The track up there is nice to skate on. I'm figuring I'll add another ridiculously high target to my list of bouts I'd like to be in. One day I'd love to be able to bout against the Fort Smashleys with whichever team I eventually get drafted into in HARD. I sure love dreaming big hehe but at least it gives me something to aim for whether it's realistic or not. One of my highlights from that session was Danger getting a sneaky whip off me while I was chatting and skating with Cass. Danger's one of my fav Newy skaters so I was like WOW hehe

Saturday night saw me head out to Penrith to do reporting duties for the WSR double header. I had the best seat in the house, I was sitting next to Big Kahuna at the commentators table so we got to have a good chat in between jams. He was such a gentleman whenever I came back to my seat he'd always pull out the chair for me, bless him! It was good to watch some of my derby friend's bout who I hadn't had a chance to see bout yet. I enjoyed watching both bouts and there still hasn't been a bout where I haven't learnt something new.

Sunday morning I headed off to the airport to pick up my relo's from the airport. I was home for half an hour before I headed off down to the 'gong to watch my league in their first ever bout. They were bouting my fav SRDL home team: SAS. I wasn't doing reporting duties which meant I got to be a fan for the day YAY! A funny story I was about to walk into the bathroom just as Freyda Cox was coming out. I wanted to say Oh my gosh you're one of my favourite SRDL players but it wasn't the best time to say anything except hi. I was so proud of our guys, they did a great job especially those bouting for the very first time like Phat. I was on my best behaviour so I wasn't as vocal or animated like I am when I watch Liverpool play otherwise I would have paced up and down the sidelines living every hit and move. Poor Bede was standing next to me though filming the bout so all you're probably going to hear on the audio is my screaming and swearing haha. We play BSK at the WIRD double header on the 18th so I'm really looking forward to watching my fellow HARDies go and skate their hearts out again and do us proud.

As soon as the bout finished I went back home grabbed my gear then headed out to training. I was really impressed with Cherry and Cheya because they bouted against SAS and then came back for training, what machines! It was inspiring. It ended up being one of the toughest training sessions I'd had in a while because I was doing a lot of skills for the very first time so I was really pushed out of my comfort zone. I sucked arse at them but I persisted until the end. I ended up doing a proper transistion for the first time after persisting at it until I got it right and improved on the attempts I made the week before.  No surprise by the time I got home on Sunday night I was feeling pretty shattered from the big derby weekend but I learnt a lot along the way and had fun in the process.

Another lesson I learnt from the weekend was not getting ahead of myself. Most of my derby goals involve different sorts of bouts and training between HARD and NRDL. As much as I'd love to see all those goals happen I'm a LONG way off from that happening. I know our training committee won't pass anyone unless they're 100% sure a skater has passed and while it can be frustrating at times to not be at bouting level it would be even worse to be at bouting level before I'm ready and then getting absolutely annihilated by Newy and not offering any sort of contribution to the bout or training. After such an injury ravaged start to derby I'm slowly starting to make progress and if I keep my head down and keep working hard I'll eventually make it to bouting level even though I'll probably go down in the Guiness book of records as taking the longest to get to bouting level.  

The unthinkable happened last Saturday night - I missed a Newy home bout for the first time in a year haha. I was a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding. The thing's you do for family :P They were completely changing the line up's and it wasn't being revealed until the bout. I made a few predictions on Cass' FB wall before the bout: 1) Bermuda Thigh Tangles was going to be a Smashley based on a Smashley spa party she mentioned on her FB page a few days before. 2) The Danger/Jilla combo was going to be split based on the fact that they said there were going to be lots of changes and new combo's forming 3) Brig and Jilla were going to be on the same team. This one was wishful thinking on my part because I would have loved to have seen them on the same side but knowing my luck if it happened they'd be both put on the Hellcats and not the Smashleys. Funnily enough all my predictions came true except that both Brig and Jilla are both on the Smashleys YAY!! Truth be told even if they both ended up as Hellcats I'd still remain a Smashley fan and cheer them on while hoping their side lost. Confusing? haha. I'm looking forward to the next Newy bout on the 25th August because not only will I be bringing my sister to her first Newy bout, I'll be going as a fan for the first time in over a year and not doing a write up so I'll be able to scream my lungs out. I wonder if you can get thrown out of a bout for being too vocal ;)

Supermegaderbyweekendexpialidocious

So I learnt a few new things at training last Sunday. Firstly the thought of backwards blocking scares the shit out me. We were practising some drills and it was the first time I'd even attempted doing it so of course I freaked out, got caught in two minds and ended up leaving a gap in the wall for the jammer to get through so that was an epic fail on my behalf. I think I really need to learn how to skate backwards. It wasn't all bad news. I've discovered that I'm feeling a lot more comfortable when it comes to being hit by a back block. Before I'd freak out and would almost certainly stack it, now it's more like 'yeah I know you're behind me and if it takes you back blocking me to the ground to get past me then I must be doing something right'.

Another thing I've realised for a while actually is that I'm probably not the best person to be NSOing. I really can't be impartial. I've only ever done jam timing so once the jam is under way I'm too busy watching and cheering people on so I'm really not a good example of when it comes to NSOing :) 

Those that know me know I'm not really the affectionate, big kisses and hugs kinda girl. I am however willing to make an exception. At HARD we have the most aptly named Team Zebra member Stunt Muffin. Jeremy's always smiling at training and always appears to be in a good mood that it's infectious whenever you're around him. I swear whenever I see him I just feel like giving him a hug. I wish there was more people like him in the world.

To the explanation behind the title of this post. If I'm not sick of roller derby by the time this weekend is over then I'll never be :) This is how my weekend is looking.

Friday:

7-9: Derby training

Saturday:

10-1: NRDL freshmeat info day

5-9: WSR double header bout

Sunday:

9:05: Pick up my relo's from the the airport

1pm: WIRD double header bout

5-8: Derby training

It's funny how some things work out better than you had initially planned. I had planned to go up for a NRDL social skate on Saturday and give Cass a little birthday present without realising it was NRDL's fresh meat info day the same day. So not only will I get to watch a demo bout, I'll also be allowed to join in on the free skating session afterwards and get to skate with hopefully some of the NRDL big kids!!! A derby dream come true for me. Excited much?? haha. Sadly I can already see how this will turn out. My shyness will kick in so I'll spend an hour skating by myself, too shy to talk to anyone then I'll spend the trip home cursing myself for not having the guts to talk to anyone.

I promised Pepa la Pow a while back that I'd cover one of her bouts so I'll be rushing back from Newy to cover both bouts at the WSR double header so that's two write up's to look forward to next week.

Sunday morning some of my relo's from Germany are arriving for my sister's upcoming wedding. The plane is due to arrive 9:05am so by the time they get through customs and we get home I'm going to have to leave right away to head down to the 'Gong for the WIRD double header. This one is extra special though becauase it'll be HARD's first ever interleague bout as the CamoKazi's. If everything works like clockwork I should be there JUST before the bout starts. I'm going there to cheer my league on especially my team mate Fear my Phat. It's her first ever bout so I wanted to be there to cheer her on. She forms the other half of the Phat Slam so there was no way I wasn't going to be there. So from there it'll be back to Sydney for my normal derby training session and then I'll eventually have to start working on the two WSR bout write up's.

Lastly I felt the time was right to get my derby related tattoo. No it doesn't involve skates at all. For those that don't know my derby name Lisbeth Slammed-her is taken from the character Lisbeth Salander from the Millenium trilogy books and movies. In the Swedish movies (which is the only version worth watching) she has a dragon tattoo on her back like this:

 
From the second I watched the first movie I fell in love with her character. I could relate to some of the shitty stuff she went through and how she didn't use it as an excuse, instead she kept fighting. Even though it's all a work of fiction I really admired that and found it inspiring. I've decided I want to get that tattoo on my right calf. It's as much as a nod to the character who inspired my derby name as it is for me and a reminder to never stop fighting. I've already found the tattooist, it's none other than Kiki Chaos from CCRG who is also a qualified tattooist. I've seen some of her work and it looks really impressive plus I thought it would have been a nice touch to get a derby inspired tattoo done by a fellow skater. It's just a matter of having a proper chat with Kiki to organise the logistics so it'll hopefully be done some time this year :) I did manage to track down the artist who actually created the dragon tattoo in the movie and he was kind enough to send me a high res pic so this will give you a better look of how it'll look.

The great balancing act

So much derby stuff has gone on since my last post surprise, surprise! I went to the CCRG bout which featured some of my fellow HARDies. It was a cracking bout which went down to the very last jam. Here's the write up I did for RDAU for the bout. Kiki Chaos from CCRG actually asked me if I wanted to cover their bouts on a regular basis which completely took me by surprise because I've never actually had a league ask me to cover their bouts on a regular basis.

I went to the SRDL bout and had a load of fun. I didn't have to do a write up so I got to be a fan. I'm a SAS fan and unfortunately they lost again. Freyda Cox was once again their star player. She may not be tall but it's proved virtually impossible for any BSK blockers including the awesome Great Bolz of fire to get past her when she was playing pivot. I watched the bout with my sister and a few friend's one of them being my friend Lyndall's fiance Michael. He was great to watch the bouts with because we're extremely similar when it comes to watching our teams play. We're both extremely vocal and get really caught up in the game that we forget that there's people sitting around us.

Some pretty huge news (for me anyway!). Our head trainer Lola Ebola is working with GodJilla to send some Newy skaters to come down and scrimmage with us! Holy fuckola I was like a kid on Christmas morning when I heard that. There's just one tiny little problem, I'm not at scrimmage level yet. I'm currently a Corporal level one but I need to be at least a Corporal level two to scrimmage. As far as I'm aware there hasn't been a date set yet for this awesome derby moment. I've had more setbacks than I've had wins with derby to date so while it probably wouldn't mean much to other people it would mean the world to me if I was able to scrimmage with or against them when this does happen. Even though I'd probably spend more time on my arse than on my skates it would feel like such a massive win for me. So I've basically used this as extra motivation to try and get myself up to scrimmage level. To the derby gods out there although I'd love for the entire Dames side to come down and scrimmage with us I'd happily settle for Jilla, Brig, Danger to be among those coming down for scrimmage ;)

As for training I seriously don't know what's happened and I really wish I haven't jinxed it now but I'm still injury free! Last Friday night I had bit of a crisis in confidence because the week before I really struggled to keep up with everyone else during the pack work that all those 'I'm not going to make it to bouting level' thoughts were bouncing around in my head. Phat was great and she helped snap me out of it. Remembering my goal of wanting to scrimmage against NRDL I instead turned to some advice for some positive motivation. I kept repeating 'confidence' and 'live the dream' to myself. If anyone saw me they were probably wondering why I was talking to myself haha. As for the significance for the word and phrase it comes from this:

For some reason I found them to be extremely helpful for me. I kept repeating them while I was working on learning how to do transistions even when I was getting extremely frustrated because I couldn't do them and SLOWLY I got to the point that I could do them. Yes they were extremely rough and I need to do a lot more work on them but I finally could do them for the first time! I may have expelled some liquid from my eyes in happiness and crushed a few people with bear hugs but I was just so relieved. I'm going to keep confidence and live the dream as my motto's because they certainly helped me out.  PS thanks for the inadvertently inspiring words Jilla :)

On Sunday we were doing hitting drills. I was all lost out at sea the more advanced the drills got but I couldn't remember the last time I had so much fun at training. My biggest problem is that I still have this fear working in close packs that I'll clip my skates, fall down and get injured. That's also why I struggle with trying to get through a wall and end up hesitating on the track. I loved blocking with Phat, she's definately someone I'd like to form a partnership with on the track. She's going to be an amazing blocker, it's amazing to watch her improve with each session. There was one drill where I got to block alongside Cherry and Phat which I absolutely loved. Hopefully I'll get to do that again with them in a bout. There was a funny moment. some of the ref's joined in on some of or hitting drills. During one of them Daniel was on the opposite team, he was looking at Phat who was coming up on his right hand side so he completely ignored me. I found a little gap so I decided to go and lay a hit on him and I did. Only problem was someone had already fallen down so there was a stray leg on the track that I didn't see so I tripped over that and landed on both of Phat's skates. So while I was on the ground in pain I was also equally happy with my hit on Dan haha. Now I'm sporting two swollen bruises on my right leg hehe.  

I got myself a skater ticket for the Aussie Rollercon and I'm already questioning whether I did the right thing or not! Seeing some of the high level skaters who are going is kinda scaring me because I'm nowhere near their levels. Maybe I can bring out cut oranges to them in between training drills :P I haven't even organised accomodation of flights yet so looks like I'll be going solo. So much for me and my bright ideas!

We all joke from time to time that derby will take over your life. With training, bouts, extra training on our own, learning rules plus in my case doing bout write up's it's not difficult to see how that can happen. While I'm single and have no kids I've noticed that I've allowed derby to have an impact on my relationships outside of the sport. In particular my relationship with my best friend Chris. He and I have been friend's for over 12 1/2 years. After my family, he's the next most important person in my life. I've been guilty of going into fan mode with derby that I've neglected Chris lately which I'm extremely disappointed in myself about because I don't want to lose him out of my life but I find it equally as scary that I've neglected other areas in my life so fast all in the pursuit of derby. I'm so desperate to make up for lost time with derby due to all my injury problems that all my focus went into the sport instead of finding a healthy balance with my life. It's something I'm currently trying to address.

Tomorrow I'll be updating a previous post that I've wanted to do for a while. It'll be ace and informative!  

Playing games.

I went to the SRDL bout on the weekend and this time I dragged both my cousin Mark and his girlfriend Suzie who also happens to be my personal trainer to watch their first ever derby bout. Sadly SAS lost to the D'viants who I also have a soft spot for. Freyda Cox was unbelievably amazing in the first bout. She excelled in any position she was asked to play. It was great to watch. I haven't been to that many SRDL bouts to date due to the fact they always clash with something else I've already got planned but I knew the second bout between BSK and Team Unicorn would be a highly entertaining bout starting with the skate out's. I'm really not fussed about skate out's but maybe because I was just watching the bout instead of taking notes for a write up I must admit the Team Unicorn skate out was pretty damn entertaining! The bout itself was an amazing spectacle too. BSK beat the more fancied Unicorns. Bomb Jones jammed out of her skin and Great Bolz of fire was freaking amazing in the defending department. She kept Winnie Bruise pretty quiet which is no easy feat. Special shout out to Elwyn who was the score guy he managed to out entertain the Unicorns. I would pay the entry fee just to see him do the scores again.

I'm still keeping up with the extra exercise away from derby. A group of us HARDies even have a little exercise group which I'm finding is great support and motivation for me and makes me less likely to come up with excuses for not exercising. I've re-arranged my room so now I've got floor space to do some core work and basic strength work. I'm also lucky in that Suzie has finally gotten to watch a bout because now that she knows what derby entails she can adjust my training sessions to help strengthen my body for the demands of derby. I've got all the resources available to me it's just up to me now to make the most of it and get closer to my bouting dream.

One thing I've noticed especially when I've struggled with my fitness levels after coming back injury is that my drive to want to do derby is still alive and well, I think it's actually gotten stronger since I first started last year. I know when I eventually start bouting initially I'll be spending more time on my arse than on my skates coming up against more experienced skaters but I know I'll be able to get back up again and keep going back for more because if anything all the setbacks I've had have actually toughened me up a bit mentally and that I know I've got it in me to carry on fighting. So my fellow HARDies while I might not become a superstar skater I promise you I'll give it my all right up until the final whistle even if I have to crawl on the track because I'm feeling completely fucked (which is probably a sign I need to work on my endurance hehe). 

Following on with some advice I got about putting my passion and aggression for derby into more productive means. I've been focussing on rules and strategies in my spare time. For all the complaints about anti-derby we use the same rule book so instead of complaining why not try to come up with ways of counteracting the anti-derby plays? For all the rule controversies it also provides a chance for someone to come up with new plays which I think is a good thing for the sport as it allows the sport to grow and evolve. Having come from a soccer background I can see the similarities with having to work as a team and become one unit. With different formations, use of wingers etc in soccer it has made me look at derby differently and think of plays that could be used like how to counteract someone backwards blocking at the front of the pack. I think I've worked out how to stop it and it works in theory I guess it just depends on whether it would work on the track.

I got inspired by both our Team Zebra and the white board we sometimes use at training to work on plays to come up with my own. I wanted to make it a little fun so armed with my e-bay account and Posca markers I made up some modified H*A*R*D and NRDL skaters hehe. It does make it a bit easier to picture plays in your head because they sort of look like skaters. Even in lego form H*A*R*D vs NRDL looks pretty damn good don't you think? Imagine how much awesome it would look in real life hehe. One guess who the Newy skater is skating backwards at the front of the pack!